Help Etiquette Guide for Public Vaping in the United States of America

A suggestion on how to respond to the female caucasian human of self assumed privilege and importance who passively volunteers her unsolicited opinion that her lifestyle choices are superior to yours and that you ought to behave as she does by making the fake cough noise as she walks near you while outside in open air at the same time you are attempting to enjoy your personal vaporizer.

Step 1. Extend the tip of your tongue just past your lips.

Step 2. Close your mouth so that there are no spaces between your extended tongue and pressed lips.

Step 3. Forcefully blow air out of your mouth.

The resulting noise ought to sound like a loud unapologetic fart. This sound, also known colloquially as, “the raspberry”, should succinctly and sufficiently replace all other possible retorts simultaneously.

Notice that you may adjust the wetness of the fart by altering the tightness of your lips and the pressure built by the air as it escapes your mouth.

For instance, if you wish to say, “oh, I am sorry. Would you prefer I smoked a cigarette?”, you may employ a loose hold of the tongue with a long bellow of air resulting in a deep baritone.

Or, if you would rather explain that technically the air you exhale from vaping has been shown in peer reviewed clinical studies to actually be healthier than the vapor free air that she selfishly pollutes the world with, a tighter pressing of the lips with a short burst of breath may produce a more punctuated response.

Feel free to employ these techniques the next time someone attempts to intrude upon your disinterest in their wanton stupidity.

 

Now, she's probably trying to ruin your life on Twitter.

 

They tend to just think you are just TWICE as disgusting...

 

Thanks for that post

Sent from my ONEPLUS A5000 using Tapatalk