My girlfriend died at 6 this morning.

So sorry for your loss, and my condolences.

 

I suppose it'll make thai tv when I go on a rampage at victory monument, my post was deleted at all other forums and it's just a matter of time until it gets removed here: my girl is dead - Health, Body and Medicine - Thailand Forum
Still, F em all.

 

How you doing buddy. Are you ok. I know the pain and heartache you must be going through. But you have to let it rest mate. You and I know this is Thailand. There will be nothing more you can do. Sorry to be so blunt. I would feel the same as you. But only making my self ill and for nothing. Good luck wind.


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We're a pretty tight group, who seem to look after one another. That being said, I wouldn't automatically assume that you're going to get the same response here as you have other forums.

With regards to going on a rampage, or flipping out, you need to ask yourself 2 questions.

1. Other than to momentarily make you feel better, will it serve any useful purpose? My answer would be, almost certainly not. You'll only wind up looking like one of the nut cases we regularly read about on the Thailand Forum.

2. More important, you need to ask yourself what your GF would want? Would her hope for you be that you step off the deep end, become goofy, and wind up getting yourself in a bunch of trouble? Again my answer would be, almost certainly not. She would want you to celebrate her life, not mourn her passing. Honor her in a way that would please her my friend.

 

Sorry for your loss. RIP

 

I'm sorry to hear about this. What is the reason for the rampage? If you need someone to speak to, other people replied and I'd be more than happy to talk with you, although I don't know how you're feeling I'm more than happy to listen. I think possibly a professional may be able to help you better though if you're really feeling like you can't get yourself out of this, I'm not really sure.

But either way we all know that a rampage wouldn't help.

 

Wind-of-Death . . . . . you would do yourself well to heed the wise advice of skeeters and others who have posted. Rage is not the answer to your continued suffering even though it is entirely normal to want to lash out at the injustice and incompetence that is everywhere in this world. The rage you feel in your heart will only inflict more damage to yourself than to the guilty ones you feel are responsible for your girlfriend's suffering and death. As skeeters wrote, you have to let it rest . . . . you have to let it go.

I half remember seeing your initial post last year but out of my own weakness and selfishness I chose to gloss over it and put it out of my mind. I didn't even write any words of solace to you and for that I am truly sorry, please accept my belated, sincerest condolences to you now over your terrible loss.

It was out of self-protection that I chose to skip over your post because I didn't want to revisit the pain and loss I experienced and endured myself over the untimely death of my beautiful wife 3 and 1/2 years ago. She was only 35 years old and never smoked a cigarette in her life but she died of lung cancer brought on by complications of her thyroid condition. It took the doctors forever to properly diagnose her illness and they finally treated her with chemotherapy but the cancer was too advanced by then.



Her name was Gedsuda and in Thai this means "lady of hair." So apt a description for her because her hair was beautiful and she took such pride in caring for her it. Such a tragedy that she lost one of her attributes she loved and prized the most from the treatments of chemotherapy. I don't know if you've seen any photos of myself on this forum but I'm an old fart with long hair. In my own silly way I feel I'm letting it grow for her and in memory of her but if she was here I know she would just tell me "tut pom!"

You know, after reading your post today it confirmed to me that I made the correct decision last year because now as I have forced myself to finally read the full details of your girlfriend's terrible suffering and eventual passing, I became totally overcome with emotion. I've been there and it hurts more than words can describe. All the memories of sorrow, pain, heartache and yes, rage came back to me. I'm not ashamed to admit that I had a self-indulgent cry but I've shrugged it off to write this post with the hope that it will help you and perhaps others that may have to endure a tragic loss in their life. I just want you to know that I have empathy towards you and that you are not alone in your sorrow, bad things happen in this world but we have to accept these events and carry on.



Initially I too was filled rage, I wanted to strike out and seek justice against those professionals I felt were to blame for the loss of my beautiful wife but through my life's experiences of dealing with tragedies before I knew that rage was not the answer. Instead, I channeled positive and loving remembrances of Gedsuda into my heart and I compiled all the photos/videos I had of my life with her and made DVDs put to music and sent them to her mother and family. This helped me a great deal and I often look at them myself.

The teachings of the Lord Buddha offers great solace to me as well as a very special book, the only one I have read and re-read (also The Prophet) over the last 20 years or more is "Siddhartha" by Herman Hesse. If you've never read this book you absolutely must! It's my Bible and it has helped me enormously in my life to contend with my personal travails.

Take the positive path and fill your heart with loving memories of your dearest girlfriend and I'll leave you with this line from a song by a Hawaiian singer who is deceased . . . . . "In This Life" - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.

I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true, in this life I was loved by you.

 

Also people here are caring people, people at Thai visa don't seem to be the same (I'm sure plenty of people are fine, but there are just tons of trolls). I don't know if you enjoy it, but I can't read the replies to your post or I will get mad. I really really hope you have better people to talk to now, if not please talk to some of us here.

 

patts very nice reply also another heart breaking one, we all know it's difficult when you loose someone close and the anger we feel, i lost my mum last year and was informed by message on facebook from my family. the amount of anger and rage i felt at that time i was going to do some serious damage when i got home. to said family for informing me in such a manner, in fact when i got home i just thought would my mum want me to be like this,, i just picked up a bottle of whiskey drank the whole bottle quietly and cried, i just had to forget and just think of my mum, now as im typing this, i have a picture of her just at eye level next to my com and i just smile and say hello mum, how you doing i hope your happy where ever you are, she will never be forgotten,,, live life and be happy my friend's we dont know how long we have it for,,,, i hope we all have a happier and healthy new year...

 

Wow, this thread is some different stuff. I guess to recommend "keep calm and have a Vape" would not really be of help.
A couple years ago my uncle asked me why his soon with 9 year's had to die after 1 and a half year of suffering chemotherapy and surgerys because of a brain tumor.
He asked why does and how can a god let something like this happen and be? Could not say much other than he has all the right to aske him this question himself one day.
Condolence to you guys who have lost a loved one and respect for overcoming your ego to let the loved ones and yourself move one.

 

Mine too was a similar situation to your Skeeters in that it was my mom who passed on. I was working in China at the time, and I thought about returning to the states for her memorial, but personal issues stateside made it a situation whereby had I returned I would have had to give up my job teaching and would be stuck in the states for awhile before I could resume teaching somewhere, so I didn't go.
I thought about what my mom would want me to do, and what she would say to me. She always said I "marched to the tune of a different drummer", and I knew that she was proud of me and the work I was doing in China, helping others. So I chose to stay, and in all honesty, I didn't shed many tears over her passing. Not because I didn't want to, lord knows I wanted to bawl my eyes, and pour my heart out. But I knew that's not what she'd want, so I picked up and moved on. But, in helping the young people I do here in Thailand, I feel like, everyday I celebrate her life, and she's part of the reason I continue to do what I do.

To ALL who've lost loved ones, I send my condolences, and heartfelt wish that you do the same, and honor them in a positive way.

Best Wishes,

Shawn

 

After reading this thread, I am lost for words.

With the the loss of a love one, time is the only thing that will heal the sorrow.

The Serenity prayer that Patts posted has saved me from doing a lot of crazy things in my life and I use it all the time and Im not a religious person.

I just hope you can find some peace of mind in these troubled times.

Rest in Peace young lady.